I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
