We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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