I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
