omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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