do herpes really smell.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
