"it" just moved
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
