can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
