Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
