I CAN MOONWALK!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
