How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
