Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
