Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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