maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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