John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
