you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
