there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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