On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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