Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So much Jack, so little girl.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
