Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
