I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
