how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
