Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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