let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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