I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's always time for handjobs
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
