i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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