Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
