so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
pray to the hookup gods
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
