i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize