would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Alive.
So much puke
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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