I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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