Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
