I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
