I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
