Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
