I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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