how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
