would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
