Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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