...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
