I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
