I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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