Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
