the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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