He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
