what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
