youre lurking in front of me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We need a shit load of segways right now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
