Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
