hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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