Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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