He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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