We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize