just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
