Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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