I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
