3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize