so that wasnt chicken after all
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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