so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
