question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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