From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
