Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
