he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The power of my boobs compel you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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