i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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