Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
