Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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