She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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