3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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