apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We need to get me chipped asap
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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