Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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