Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
