I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
