On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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